How did I end up in the psych ward?

Greetings, dear readers. Today it’s time to share with you my story. As you may already know from the previous articles here, I spent approximately 5 weeks in the psych ward in your capital, Prague. Some of you have maybe noticed as well that I had been in another psych ward before that, in the town called Brno. You can read about that in the article About us which we wrote long time ago. I was placed into the children’s department in both cases. However, what was the exact reason of my hospitalization? Why did I need the hospital at all?

I have been probably suffering from certain mental health issues almost since my birth. However, my mental state became significantly worse after joining grammar school with a tendency to slowly regress. It’s difficult to say what exactly caused it. Maybe it was just natural and continual development of all the stuff. Everything could be caused by an increased workload which grammar school puts on its students. The truth is that my pathological perfectionism made me learn so much that it wasn’t healthy at all. I entirely disturbed my sleeping routine because of learning. It wasn’t anything rare that I went to sleep after 2 a.m. because I had an obtrusive feeling that I don’t understand the subject matter, which we were writing a test from the next day, enough. School was basically bringing me constant stress, intensified by the fact that schooling didn’t make even the smallest sense to me. Finally I fundamentally learned to hate school as a whole.

However, the exact reason of the deterioration of my state isn’t essential. Most likely, it even isn’t just one clearly determined cause but rather interplay of several factors. Anyway, the thing is I started to suffer from depression much more frequently than before.

At this place, I should probably explain what does the word depression actually mean. It definitely doesn’t signify 2-days-lasting bad mood or anything we could just get rid of by watching a funny movie or by going out. We’re speaking here about a mental illness characterized by distinctly low mood which typically manifests itself in persistent sadness, irritability or a feeling of emptiness. The disease also causes the lost of interests, increased or decreased appetite, insomnia or oversleeping, overall slowdown or acceleration, tiredness, the lost of energy and a problem with concentration and decision making. Last but not least, it leads to feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness, inappropriate guilt and to suicidal thoughts, in 10% of cases even to a suicide itself. It’s important to note that the symptoms must last at least 14 days in a row.

I myself am not able to experience sadness very well. That’s perhaps the reason why my depressive episodes always expressed themselves rather as irritability and a consuming feeling of emptiness. I was also always caught by the lost of interest. I just suddenly realized that there’s no single thing in this world which would make me happy. It felt like the life left everything around and I was walking in the center of the dead world. I usually struggled to fall asleep while depressed but when I was already sleeping I slept for a very long time, such a 12 hours. I always lost most of my appetite, I was slowed down and constantly tired. Starting which any activity became an incredible deal for me. When my depression deepened I was almost unable to speak. Every word was so arduous for me that I was rather staying silent. What’s more, I was constantly afflicted by feelings of gilt. I perpetually overplayed my mistakes in my head like a movie while blaming myself.  I strenuously struggled with obsessive thoughts repeating me how incompetent and useless I’m, how I’m just a burden for everybody, how it would be the best for all people around if I wasn’t here at all… The world always seemed to me as a painfully vain place and my situation looked like absolutely desperate and hopeless. I was experiencing strong suicidal thoughts every time as well. I saw hope, the way how to finally end up with all the infinity pain of soul in the death by my own hand. Moreover, depression convinced me quite successfully that I’m not worth living at all.

The periods, when depression avoided me, were still less and less frequent as well as shorter and shorter. I often felt very irritable, full of energy and anger in this meantime. I always noticed the need to change this world, make huge things or fight against the stupidity, ignorance and injustice growing in me. My head was full of ideas like I was suddenly able to think in a light and easy way. I spoke a lot, still criticizing things around. I got permanently involved in completely useless arguments as well. From time to time, I was swallowed by a fit of euphoria when the whole world seemed to me as the most amazing place we can ever imagine. It never lasted for a long time, maximally for a few days. Then I usually switched into my inappropriately irritable mood or into depression.

I didn’t consider my states outside of depression as anything important back then. I just and simply thought it’s just me, the way how I’m. In addition, I was accompanied by quite unpleasant anxiety most of the time which I was unable to work with.

In October 2016, a 3-months-lasting depressive episode started for me. It was stronger than any other episode before. I was balancing on the border of the ability of functioning at school, finally even on the border of the ability to get myself to school. I already truly needed a help that time. My parents finally ordered me to a psychiatrist, however, the waiting time 3 months turned out to be too long.

In December of the same year, short time before the Christmas, I suddenly experienced a few-days-lasting euphoric spurt, in the middle of the depressive episode. I can remember very well how I went to buy Christmas gifts in that state. I ran across the entire town during 2 hours, which is a huge speed for me, I bought 2 presents for everybody, I was saying hello to strangers on the street, I was smiling at everybody who crossed me by and I was passionate about speaking with sellers in the shops. Nothing of that isn’t typical or standard for an introverted autistic person, who I’m, at all.

Unfortunately, after a sharp rise, a painful fall followed. I came down into deep depression very quickly, unable to function. I felt defeated. I experienced a clear happiness for a while, I felt like on the top of the world, and then, out of nowhere, I found myself deep down. My suicidal thoughts became uncontrollable. I experienced a strong urge to end up with everything. Thoughts how to do it raised though my head. I saw myself lying on the track waiting for a train… I wasn’t sure at all what I’m going to do in the next few hours. I told my parent that I can’t go on anymore…

The next day they were taking me into the psychiatry crisis center in Brno where the doctor told me that my state requires hospitalization. Even though I subconsciously counted with that eventuality, I was absolutely shocked. Nevertheless, I agreed.

That’s how I got to the psych ward for the first time. Unfortunately, the doctors there didn’t help me at all. I was released in an absolutely desperate state while another hospitalization in Prague was pre-arranged.

Today I have finally determined diagnosis, established medication and a mood closer to the norm. I experienced many not very pleasant things, however, everything seems to go just right nowadays. It looks like a good ending of the story, doesn’t it?

Are you interested in what was going on in the psych ward in Brno? Wait for the next article. If you have any questions or notes, write us in the comment section bellow. Finally, keep in mind, we’re here for you!

Vestibular hyposensitivity

Dear readers, after a long time, there’s finally a new article concerning sensory processing disorder, a condition which we explained in one of our old articles. Today we’re going to speak about a specific type of SPD which we haven’t discussed yet, vestibular hyposensitivity. First of all we must be sure what the term vestibular actually means. Simply put, we have more than just 5 senses and one of these additional senses is vestibular system. It’s located in our inner ear and it’s responsible of perceiving movement of our body, a position or our head, equilibrium and our posture in the gravity field. Check up our previous article called Senses for more information. If everything works just right we don’t have any problems with procession vestibular stimuli. However, in some of us the brain doesn’t evaluate the information from our vestibular sense properly. In that case, we may develop vestibular hypersensitivity, which we spoke about in the last article, or so called vestibular hyposensitivity which we’re going to discuss now.

Let’s introduce basic signs of this disorder to understand it better.

If we are hyposensitive to vestibular inputs, than we simply aren’t sensitive enough towards movement, equilibrium and position in the gravity field. In other words, we constantly suffer from feeling that we don’t have enough movement and that we just have to move more. Therefore we incessantly walk, jump or run. We’re basically unable to sit still or stay motionless. We experience a strong urge to spin, rock, flap our hands or shake our legs just to feel movement in sundry parts of our body. Movement almost can’t make us sick. We can spin for hours and never become dizzy. We also love fast drive on uneven surfaces, water slides or plenty of fairground amusements such us merry-go-rounds, swings and roller-coasters, especially in our children years. We usually love sudden unexpected movements. We also don’t have the sense for equilibrium, that’s why we are often very clumsy and we fall frequently. It can take us long to learn how to walk. On the other hand, it doesn’t cause us any problems to be in upside down position.

These are some of the main characteristics of vestibular hyposensitivity. If you recognize yourself in many of them, you may experience this condition. Let’s introduce some tips on what you can do to decrease your troubles in that case you’re living with this disorder. First of all, don’t hesitate to move us much as you need. Rocking, hand flapping or legs shaking, everything is OK. Even though some people perceive these movements us something socially unacceptable, I don’t see anything wrong with them. Your comfort is always much more important that social norms and conventions. Dynamic exercising can help you us well. It allows you to feel pleasant movements in many different parts of your body and it supports your health in addition.

I myself don’t have any personal experiences with this condition. Anyway, always use your own set of coping strategies to make yourself feel better in this world.

Do you suspect you might be affected by vestibular hyposensitivity? Do you know somebody who exhibit signs of this disorder? Would you like to ask a question or share your story? Write us in the comment section bellow. Don’t forget, we’re here for you!

Back from a psych ward!

Hello, dear readers.

I’m back. I’m coming again to our blog after about one and half month lasting inactivity. As you already know from my great friend and co-author of this blog Christyna, I spent few last weeks in a psych word in our capital, Prague. Doctors were trying to help me managing the symptoms of my mental illness there. I received a diagnosis and meds which should keep my mood in a normal range. As far as my diagnosis is concerned, I actually haven’t received it for 100% after all, but we will discuss all this issue later. However, I finally left the hospital against the will of doctors even though they were doing their best to help me. There’re few reasons for it. Look forward to one of my future articles where I’ll be sharing these reasons with you.

Since now, I’m going to add articles on this blog again. I’m going to go on in writing the series or educational articles about mental illnesses, disorder and conditions. I would also like to share my experiences form psych words in my future blog posts. I’ll try to give you insight to how it’s like to be locked in the psychiatry in the Czech Republic. I’m planning to speak about my experiences from hospital in Prague and Brno, compare these two facilities and describe pros and cons of both of them. Finally, I would like to answer very important question. Is hospitalization, concretely in my country, useful for mentally ill people?

I hope I’ll be able to post the articles regularly and frequently. Do you have any questions or notes? Would you like an article on a certain topic? Write as in the comment section bellow. After all, we’re here for you!

Our thanks and an important Announcement

Our thanks

Dear readers, firstly I would like to give you our sincere thank you, for visiting our website, and mainly for taking interest in mental illnesses. No matter the reason for it, I'm convinced that the more we talk about it, and the more everyone finds out about them, the more the world will see it as a "normal" illness. Not as something strange, weird, inapprehensible and maybe even mysterious, cryptic or eerie. So in the name of our blog - thank you.

Announcement

Secondly, there's this unfortunate announcement I have to make. Monika, my co-worker, author of this blog, and friend is at the moment in a psychiatry clinic, because of her illness getting worse. They are allowed having computers and all electronic devises only for a short period of time, thus making her unable to write any new articles. I wish her with all my heart that she gets better, and that she'll live a more normal life then she has lived until now...

How will Monika's absence affect our blog?

We'll suspend the series of articles on the topic of theory of mental disorders, which had been published till now. I myself ain't an expert on this subject, unlike Monika. So I can't just go on publishing on this topic instead of her. Instead, we can look at other aspect of this theme. The practical one.

What topics can you look forward to?

How I told my parents about my deppresion

Pedophilia: Articles vs reality

Best song that will make your day better

Songs, that understand you

4 and 1/2 of the best channels on YT addressing mental disorders

Best ways to get help for suicidal thoughts

How creation of art helps with mental disorders

and many more! So, as you can see, we still have many topics to choose from, even though I was saving them for later... ;P Oh yes, and one more thing - if you have some topic that interests you, that you would like to know more about, and we haven't mentioned it on our blog, go ahead and write us either in the comment section or on our email address. We're open-minded to new topics and ideas and we'll do our best to cover the topic and to find out as much as we can about it. Don't forget - this blog is for you! So you can decide what most interests you and want to know more about!

And finally, if you have any questions, comments, observations, or there's something on your mind, don't be afraid to write either in the comment section bellow, on our facebook page or on our email. We'll be more than happy to hear you out! Have a wonderful time and don't forget, we're here for you'

Vestibular hypersensitivity

Dear readers, welcome to the new article about one of sensory processing disorders. We explained in one of the previous articles called Senses, that we actually have 7 basic senses instead of just 5 and that one of them is vestibular system. It’s located in an inner ear and we perceive the position of our head, equilibrium and movement because of it. It also allows us changing our position in the gravity field appropriately. If our brain doesn’t process information from the vestibular sense properly, we may develop vestibular hypersensitivity, the disorder we are going to speak about today.

Let's look at basic symptoms to understand it better.

The condition is characterized by over sensitivity to above mentioned movement, equilibrium and position in the gravity field. Then it manifests itself in the following symptoms. Movements can easily overwhelm us. Therefore we prefer sedentary tasks, we move slowly with caution and we avoid risk taking. We are often afraid of falling as well, especially on uneven surfaces. We usually don’t like elevators and escalators because their motion can easily make us sick or fearful. We can be afraid from going up or down stairs so we usually hold the handrail while walking. Heights can make us fearful as well. We also resist rotating or rapid movements. We are usually sick while boating, riding a car and during similar activities. We may appear unsure in the movement or clumsy for other people too. We are very unsatisfied when somebody bump into us or move a chair we are sitting at. We have usually certain difficulties learning how to ride a bike as well as troubles keeping balance while staying on one food or while jumping. These activities can be also frightening for us. Like children, we usually dislike swings or merry-go-rounds because of motion sickness. We also don’t prefer activities which require good balance. Finally, we can’t stand being tipped upside down or in other direction as well.

We have just introduced the main signs of vestibular hypersensitivity. Have you recognized them in yourself? If so, then you most likely suffer from this disorder. Now it’s time to come up with some coping strategies to provide advice how to deal with this condition. Let’s try to get used to motion slowly. We can for example spin on the chair as fast as we need or walk, optionally run, frequently. Learn as well how to keep balance by trying and trying. Don’t hesitate to avoid activities which make us really sick. If we are dizzy from a ride in a car or other means of transport, take a pill to reduce the sickness.

I’m not exactly sure if I suffer from this disorder or not. Even though I exhibit some symptoms, I think I don’t have this condition and there’s another reason, like dyspraxia, for it. However, if you are affected by this disorder, never hesitate to use your own coping strategies to make yourself feel better!

Do you think you may have vestibular hypersensitivity? Do you know somebody with this condition? Would you like to ask some questions? Write us in the comment section bellow. We are here for you!

Gustatory hyposensitivity

Gustatory hyposensitivity is a form of sensory processing disorder characterized by being less sensitive towards tastes. In the case we have this condition, our brain processes, sorts and prioritizes information from our taste cells differently, in an inappropriate way. Then we have a number of problems associated with it.

Let’s look at the main symptoms of this disorder to make the all concept clearer.

First of all, we are simple under sensitive to taste, or in other words to gustatory inputs. Therefore we constantly feel like we don’t have enough taste in out mouth. Then we usually prefer strong flavors of the food with marker sour, salty, sweet or spicy taste. We still have an urge to add more and more seasoning on our food as well. We are basically able to eat anything. There usually aren’t foods which we would strongly dislike or which would make us sick. We just feel the need for strong gustatory inputs so we are most satisfied with above mentioned marked flavors. We may like toothpaste or mouthwash very much as well, depending on its concrete taste. As kids, we lick, taste or chew many different objects for a long time. We can put our hair or fingers into our mouth even when we all older. That’s all because we are trying to gain taste stimulation which we constantly miss.

So, these are signs indication we may have gustatory hypersensitivity. If many of them seems to be true for you, then you probably suffer from this disorder. Let’s introduce a few coping strategies we can use to minimalize our problems. Always choose that food which provides us with needed sensory stimulation. However, make sure we are eating healthy. Try to reduce strongly unhealthy foods even though they have strong taste. You can also chew a chewing gum frequently or suck a candy, the healthy on if it’s possible. Try to avoid sucking your fingers or hair and use here mentioned candy instead.

I myself don’t suffer from this disorder so I can’t provide any personal experiences. However it’s clear this condition can be very distressing sometimes. Always use your own set of coping strategies to make yourself feeling better on a daily basis!

Do you suspect you might have this disorder? Do you want to share your story or ask some questions? Write us in the comment section bellow. Don’t forget, we’re here for you!

Gustatory hypersensitivity

Welcome to the next article about a certain type of sensory processing disorder, today about gustatory hypersensitivity. It’s in other words over responsiveness to taste. In the case we suffer from this disorder, our brain process sensory inputs from our taste cells differently so we evaluate normal gustatory (or taste) inputs like the strong ones.

Let’s introduce few symptoms to make the all thing clearer.

First of all, we are simply over sensitive to tastes, as it was said above. It may results in many of following symptoms. We can be very picky eaters, because we are not able to stand strong spicy, sweet, sour or salty foods. We often prefer foods with neutral or almost neutral taste. The same goes for drinks. We may refuse to lick stamps or envelops because we don’t like the taste which is provided when we really lick it. The taste of toothpaste or mouthwash can be very unpleasant to us as well. We may be fearful or unwilling to try new foods because we are afraid of gustatory input it will provide. Strong tastes can make us very sick or even cause us vomiting time to time.

These are the signs of gustatory hypersensitivity. If you have found yourself in them then there’s a big likelihood you have above described disorder. Which coping strategies could help us with managing this problem? Choose types of food which you like or which don’t cause you any distress and eat primarily them. Also try to get slowly used to other foods which are not extremely disgusting for you, but which you don’t like the most. If you can’t eat most of the foods because of this condition, than feel free to buy vitamins, dietary supplements or nutridrinks to give your body needed substances.

I don’t have almost any personal experiences with this disorder and that’s why I can’t share almost anything. I have only experienced gustatory hypersensitivity when I was put on antidepressant Zoloft. All tastes were suddenly too much for me. Therefore I understand how distressing condition it can be for many us of. Don’t hesitate to use your own set of coping strategies to handle this world better!

Have you find yourself in above described signs? Do you know somebody who suffers from this disorder? Do you want to share your experiences or ask some question? Write us in the comment section bellow. We are always here for you!

Olfactory hyposensitivity

Olfactory hyposensitivity is a form of sensory processing disorder characterized by being under sensitive to smells. It’s caused by the fact that our brain process information from the smell cells in a wrong way.

Let’s introduce few symptoms to understand it better.

If we are hyposensitive to smells, we simply don’t sense them us much as we should. We may not notice odors which are very unpleasant to others at all. In general, we have a hard time discrimination which smells are unpleasant and which are just fine. It can be sometimes even dangerous because we are able to eat spoiled food. That’s simply because we are unable to notice it’s spoiled according to its odor. However it’s important to realize that we constantly feel we don’t receive enough olfactory stimuli. Therefore we excessively smell everything around us, especially like kids. If we are introduced to new people we can find out first how they smell and decide if we like them or not according to it. We may prefer strong perfumes to feel at least something.

These are main symptoms of olfactory hyposensitivity. If you find yourself in them than there‘s a big chance you suffer from this disorder. It’s important to find out coping strategies which will help us to deal with this world better. We can buy above mentioned strong perfumes or aroma lamps with strong odor to fulfill our house with olfactory inputs. Also feel free to smell things around as much as we need. Surround ourselves with pleasant smells which will help us feeling something. Also learn how to recognize unpleasant odors, particularly that ones that are connected with spoiled food.

I don’t have olfactory hyposensitivity myself so I can’t provide personal experiences. However, the most important thing for you is to use your coping strategies whenever you need. It will help you to feel better in this world. Don't hesitate to do it whenever you want!

Do you have this condition? Do you know somebody who suffers from it? Would you like to ask some questions? If so, write as in the comment section bellow. Don’t forget, we’re here for you!

Olfactory hypersensitivity

Today we are going to talk about another sensory processing disorder called olfactory hypersensitivity. This condition affects our smell. We are simply over sensitive to sundry smells because our brain doesn’t process olfactory inputs (in other words inputs coming from our smell cells) correctly.

Let’s look at symptoms of this disorder to make it clearer.

It has to be mentioned again that we are simply too much sensitive to smells. The world around seems to us full of strange and unpleasant odors which literally overwhelm us. Smells can cause us significant distress and make us to avoid certain places. For example, we can’t use a public transport or visit restaurants because of unpleasant odors at all. We often notice such smells that others aren’t even aware of. Certain olfactory inputs can make us even physically sick, for example strong perfumes or certain foods. Then we may refuse to eat food with for us unpleasant smell. We can be bothered by cooking or household smells as well as by bathroom odors. Sometimes, especially like kids, we decide who we will spend time with according to how they smell. We also choose our favorite places on the basis of olfactory stimuli which we perceive there.  We usually frequently wash ourselves because we can’t stand a perspiration odor. Than we require the same thing from everybody else around.

If you found out yourself in many of above written signs then you’re probably hypersensitive to smell. There are few strategies how to deal with this condition. Find out which smells are pleasant for us and use them to block out unpleasant olfactory inputs. You can also made or buy smelly necklace. Just create small shape with clay, add a hole for string and wait until it’s dry. Then add few drops of an essential oil which you like the most. You can wear this little tool and smell it whenever you’re starting to be sick from unpleasant odors around. Also avoid certain places which are really uncomfortable for us in the case it’s possible.

I have never experienced olfactory hypersensitivity. Even though I completely understand that it can be very challenging sometime. Use our coping strategies to reduce your problem every time!

Do you suspect you can have this condition? What are your symptoms? Do you want to ask some questions? Write us in the comment section bellow. Don’t forget, we are here for you!

Tactile hyposensitivity

Tactile hyposensitivity is one of sensory processing disorders which makes us being under sensitive to touch, pain, pressure, heat, cold and/or tickling. There is nothing wrong with our skin. The entire problem consists in the brain, concretely in the way how it processes tactile stimuli.

Let’s look at most important symptoms of this disorder to understand it better.

First of all, we aren’t sensitive enough to touch in general. It can cause following problems. We have to constantly deal with a feeling that we don’t have enough tactile stimulation. Therefore we incessantly touch everything, especially things which a texture which provide strong tactile feedback. We love hugs and kisses. Like kids, we can constantly hug somebody. Because we are under sensitive to touch we may not even register when some touches us. We often aren’t aware that our hands of other parts of our body are dirty so we often forget to clean ourselves. We seek for vibrations and we like to wear tight clothing to feel something on our skin all the time. Like little kids, we may love to put objects in our mouth. We also like to eat food with strong texture to provide our mouth which tactile stimuli.

The above mentioned symptoms are valid if we are under sensitive to touch. If our hyposensitivity influences how we perceive pain, then we may not feel pain at all or almost don’t feel it. We might not notice that we bump into something or that we have injuries on the skin like for example cuts. We can hurt ourselves on purpose to feel at least something, for example pitch ourselves. Like kids, we may even bump which our head into the wall. When we are little, we can unintentionally hurt other children while playing because we don’t have any idea what hurts and what doesn’t.

We can be also less sensitive to tickling so we aren’t ticklish at all or just a little. If we are hyposensitive to heat we may not feel anytime that there is hot, even in the sultriest days. Then we tent to always wear long sleeves. It’s also possible to be hyposensitive towards cold. It causes that we don’t perceive that there is cold even in the winter. We may always wear short sleeves then.

Have you find yourself in above described signs? If so, you have probably tactile hyposensitivity. This can be very distressing and uncomfortable condition, sometimes even dangerous if we don’t feel pain at all. That’s why it’s important to learn how to cope with it. Always buy tight clothing to provide our skin tactile stimulation. We can also buy a special sensory toy which gives us comfortable sensory inputs or a heavy blanket to feel the pressure on your body. In the case we’re under sensitive to pain, learn, which inputs can hurt us and which are safe to don’t hurt ourselves seriously by accident. If we suffer from hyposensitivity to cold or heat, adapt our clothes to our sensory needs. Don’t hesitate to use any coping strategy which comes to our mind!

I don’t have almost any personal experiences which this condition. I’m, in contrary, hypersensitive to touch. However, I almost stopped feeling pain after taking antidepressant called Zoloft. Then i had a huge taste to hurt myself. So I can understand very well how distressing and dangerous it can be. Always use whatever you need to make yourself feel comfortable in this world.

Do you think you might have this disorder? What do you exactly suffer from? Do you have any questions? Write us in the comment section bellow. We are here just for you!